Daily Productive Sharing 185 - Why Being Discipline Might Be Harmful?

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(The English version follows)

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鸡娃是时下又一个令人焦虑的话题。可是从小就严格要求孩子真的如家长所愿吗？也许这并不是一个很好的选择，从小严格要求孩子可能给孩子造成不小的心理压力，也更可能促成他们的逆反心理。也许我们自己从小就被迫接受这一理念，但是我们真的愿意把这一理念施加在下一代身上吗？

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原链

The Price of Discipline

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Raising kids is another anxious topic these days. But is it really a good idea to be strict with children from an early age? Perhaps this is not a good option, as being strict from an early age can cause a lot of psychological pressure on children and may also contribute to their rebelliousness. We may be forced to accept this idea ourselves from an early age, but do we really want to inflict it on the next generation?

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Link

The Price of Discipline

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Excerpt

Still today, we dehumanize children by locking them in classes they despise with teachers who have to act as babysitters by giving them time-outs until they shut up and follow the rules.

Students can’t modify the syllabus. They have to accept it as it’s given to them. By doing so, we kill the joy of learning, strip agency away from our children, and in turn, rob them of their humanity.

Instead, the best that parents who want to leave an easter egg for their children can do is use their legacy status to help children get into their alma mater.

More and more parents are encouraging more and more children to fight zero-sum battles like the college admissions process. This childhood rat race is packaged as ambitious, even though it actually rests behind a facade of sheep-like, anxiety-creating complacency.

Parents stress over college acceptance, which creates stress for teachers who teach to the test, which creates stress for kids who can’t experience the creativity of traditional childhood.

According to one Pew Research study, 70% of teens list “anxiety and depression” as a major problem in their local community. Another study found that half of PhD students experience psychological distress.

School taught me the wrong lessons.

Just as high schoolers numb their passions so they can beat their classmates on the SAT, adults trade joy for money by answering emails until their head hits the pillow.

My parents tried so hard to make me successful but never stopped to ask if I was enjoying myself. They are proud of what I’m doing, and since I work for an impressive company, they just assume I’m happy.

Every morning, before I stepped into the office at 9 am, I said goodbye to the blue sky of liberty.

Conventional wisdom says both kids and adults will waste their time if you give them total freedom. I take the opposite perspective.

When we discipline people against their will, we create negative repercussions.

Likewise, suffocating a person’s free will for too long will result in harmful second-order effects for individuals and society at-large. This is the price of discipline.

Even if it’s not your ideal life, you can always choose it. No matter what your life is, choosing it changes everything.

We need teachers to keep children safe and parents to keep them healthy. But children don’t need the minute-by-minute schedules of a Fortune 500 CEO.